Archiv der Kategorie: Diary

Quit the bitching on your blog And stop pretending art is hard

„I will be the picture of of discipline
Never fucking up anything
And I’ll be a good defensive driver
And it’s funny how I imagined
That I would be that person now
But it does not seem to have happened“
Amanda Palmer, In My Mind

Houston, we have a problem. The year is nearly gone and more and more people start to ask if there will be a calendar this year. The honest truth is that I don’t know. I don’t want to disappoint anyone – but I also don’t know what pics to put in the calendar. When people started asking I told them that I didn’t take too many photos this year (partly because of my injury, partly because of me feeling awfully tired and burned out) and I actually believed this to be true.

When I later checked the actual numbers I realized that I took more photos this year than ever before. I did portaits, a wedding, a conference, an air show, a theater premiere, a sports event, a schooling… I took thousands of pictures. Enjoyable and sometimes educative as though these shootings were, they did leave something to be desired. There is no calendar worthy shots or even art. I did so much photography but I didn’t make good art.

So I guess the positive takeaway from this year will be that I am able to genuinely enjoy the part of photography that I do strictly for business. Not being able to enjoy photography anymore if I do it in a more professional way was something that scared me a lot. Not as much as the fraud police/imposter syndrome does, but that’s a story for a different day.

Will there be calendar for 2017? I can’t promise anything but to try. Disappointing people would make me a fraud after all…

P.S. 37/56

The video games they play me

Last year I made pretty rough contact with the road after crashing my bike on the way to work. In the beginning of June I finally decided to drop some money on a new bike (and a new helmet). I bought a shiny road bike (with a straight bar for the city) and it was such a good feeling to finally ride again.

brand new road bike before the crash...

Unfortunately it took me only five days and a couple of utterly, utterly nice rides to have another crash on the way to work. And to break my arm. What the actual fuck?  I underwent surgery and got some fancy titan upgrades to my arm only a few days later. Matti 2.0!

I had to stay home for a couple of weeks and used the time to catch up on a couple of TV series and to pick up XCOM 2 in the steam summer sale. Nonetheless I wouldn’t recommend the experience to anyone. Right now I am working to rebuild strenght in my arm as the fracture seems to be fully healed.

My first and biggest concern after learning that about the fracture was that the arm might not fit in the brand new suit that I bought for the wedding of Daniela and Andreas. Luckily no cast was needed because of the surgery and I was able to be an exceptionally good looking groomsman. 😉 Speaking of the wedding: It was just wonderful. I have to admit though that I was a sobbing mess when bride and groom read their marriage promises to each other. I am so damn happy for you guys.

Now it’s only a few more days until I go to the Wacken Open Air for the first time. I have never been to a festival that spanned over a couple of days and I have never slept in a tent before so this is a first too. I am going to see Iron Maiden, Steel Panther, Blue Oyster Cult and many more. But more importantly I am going to camp with Daniela, Andreas (2x), Georg and some more friends. I am so looking forward to this time.

Afterwards I will be at the baltic sea for a couple of days with Ronny to relax. We may even take out the bikes for an excursion if the doc gives her okay. Wish me luck.

26/56. Hurrah?